There are no Stressful Situations

There are no stressful situations. Only thoughts that make them stressful.

Sure, that’s a bit of a stretch. But you’re anxious about circumstances others find normal.  

Two speakers in front of the same audience experiencing different levels of stress is one example. Having to meet the same deadline at work may be stressful for you while it wouldn’t be for another team member.

So while our circumstances can be “neutral” in nature, they become stressful only when you assign negative thoughts to them.

Those thinking patterns are specific to you. They’re often automatic, in the sense that you’ve repeatedly perceived the same situation as being stressful, until your anxiety spikes and bypasses any rational discourse you could have about it. That’s a trauma response.

At your core, you implicitly assume before the fact that you won’t be able to do a good job, give a good speech, meet a deadline, that others will judge or belittle you…

The level of stress you experience then is the gap between the demands of your environment and your abilities. Or rather, what you think your abilities are.

Now I’m not advocating for emotional repression because some situations could indeed be overwhelming or toxic and you’d need a different strategy (setting boundaries, becoming assertive, changing environments or relationships…).

But managing your stress is within your reach. It’s a skill you can practice with the right tools that I compiled for you on Udemy.