What do you really control?

Hello Friends,

You know, when you think about it, getting frustrated at a traffic jam is uncalled for: your feelings of anger or worry in those instances are your self-inflicted punishment for something you have no control over.

Sure it may seem anecdotal. But what about not getting that promotion or raise you worked for all year long by pulling all-nighters?

Well, often times we mistake what we can only influence for what we can actually control. And when we don’t get the payoff we expected, we end up getting angry at the potential injustice we experienced.

Sometimes rightfully so: maybe you’ve worked for someone who promised you that being understaffed was temporary, that going that extra-mile over the year would be rewarded and so on. But at the end of the day, upon experiencing that disappointment, you’d simply realize you’re not in the right place and it’s time to move on.

So if you want to navigate through your circumstances with a little more ease, here’s a little takeaway from the circle of concern, a tool I love that was put forward by the late development expert Stephen Covey:

• If you can’t control it, learn to accept it

• Don’t turn what you can only influence into an expectation, or you’ll always be disappointed, either by others’ behaviors or by the outcome of your efforts (I’m looking at you entrepreneurs)

• Focus only on what you can actually control: your reaction to your circumstances, by working on the way you think, feel and behave.

Each compartment calls for a different skill set you can improve upon. You can find here the best tools to achieve just that.